As a Hufflepuff, I’m really good at finding things, which includes my own flaws. I’ve spent many hours, days, and even weeks beating myself up for something I’ve said, done, or written. Though this is designed for writing related pessimism, I hope that the steps I take to fire my pessimist will also help you in writing or in life.
Step 1 - Pessimist vs. Realist
The first thing I like to do is identify if I'm hearing my pessimist or realist. Though my realist can also be unhelpful at times in the creative process, it's nice to keep her around because she definitely keeps me grounded.
My pessimist, on the other hand, is the voice in my head that tells nothing but lies.
For example:
Pessimist - "No one will ever enjoy my writing."
Realist - "Not everyone will enjoy my writing."
Though the realist statement stings, it's actually factual. The hard truth is that not everyone will love my writing because everyone has different preferences.
But my pessimist...is flat out lying to me, and if I believe his lies, I will only be hurting myself.
Your P E S S I M I S T will tell you self-deprecating lies while your R E A L I S T will give you hard truths.
Step 2 - Analyze the Pessimism
Next, I like to take a look at my pessimism from an objective perspective and analyze why I'm feeling the way I am. Sometimes it's good to make a physical list in a journal, sometimes this is good to talk through with a close friend you trust. I often will think through it on my own first and try to identify where it's coming from.
For example:
"I'll never become a novelist."
Ask Yourself
Why did I have this thought?
Did I just receive some harsh feedback?
Am I feeling burnt out in my drafting or editing?
Step 3 - Strategize
After I've asked myself some questions and pinpointed the problem, it's time to come up with a strategy to fire my pessimist.
Let's pull from the example above.
If you recently got some harsh feedback that is resulting in this self-deprecating lie, was the harsh feedback really trustworthy? Or are you sensitive to criticism?
I personally really struggle with receiving feedback. I started writing at a really young age and have a lot of anxiety when I let others read my work because I will spiral if someone doesn't like what I write. (This is where my realist helps me with the reminder it is impossible for everyone to love my writing) Obviously, this is a personal problem of mine.
The people giving me feedback have no intent to hurt me. You may be in my situation, but also be aware that you may be in a situation with toxic critique partners who are giving you poor advice out of jealousy. If a comment is bothering you, address it with a different writing friend. Make sure that you are never taking one person's feedback as gold, especially when something doesn't feel right about it.
If your self-deprecating lie is coming from feeling burnt out, give yourself a break! It is okay to take a step back and spend a day or even a week refilling your well. Watch some movies or TV shows, go out with friends, or take a walk. Have some YOU time and recharge.
Step 4 - The Confrontation
Now, it's time for the big talk. Even with taking some actions against your pessimist, you'll probably find that he's still there, sitting beside you every time you sit down to write.
When I feel him looming, I like to confront him.
I've already analyzed what's going on, which means I now have ammunition to shut him up.
For example:
Pessimist - "I'm a terrible writer."
Response - "I'm not a terrible writer. I'm just letting other's opinions affect my view of myself. In reality, I'm a good writer, and I get better each time I practice."
Now, I know what you're thinking
If only it were that easy...
Step 5 - The Realist
Remember the realist? Well, she's about to help us out.
Steps are great, right? They help us organize and process, but in the end, it's still going to be hard to actually make a long-lasting change.
The reality of writing is that you may have to constantly be firing and fighting your pessimist. But you should keep fighting because your writing is worth it. Your stories are unique, and if you don't write them, the world will never get to read them.
I hope these steps help, but I know it's hard because I'm in the same boat. Keep fighting though because you're stories are amazing, and I want to read them!
Leave a comment below if you have any addition tips or tricks for firing your pessimist.
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